Here is a little bit of a thought experiment I am doing on myself: My mother gave me this visually delicious bouquet of lisianthus yesterday. I put it on the table with my bowl of prayer stones. I’ve made my peace with orange/pink combinations and learned to really savor the complexity. Instead of this image being jarring, I find it full of energy and life. Still, I hesitated to post it because I have a feeling that it’s sort of socially unacceptable. Funny, isn’t it? Even posting a photo of a pink flower on an orange backdrop makes some little gremlin in the back of my head start to chatter about being judged. Those are the sorts of gremlins I am trying to weed out–they pop up in the strangest of situations.
Gremlins like this can be pretty insidious, and we don’t always know we are responding to them. This was a fairly innocuous one–easy to identify and easy to quash, but it’s not always that way. Powerful little critters, they weasel into the subconscious workings of the brain, and jump out to convince us that we look really ridiculous or that everyone is going to think that comment just now was completely stupid. They get really insidious because they start working the other way, too. They make us care so much about what other people are thinking of us, that we start to judge other people on their crazy criteria.
Part of learning to be whole, learning to be awake, part of walking toward wisdom, is to name the gremlins along with the blessings. This one that I am looking at is a petty little fiend, and I am a little embarrassed to show him to you, but there he is. (Next one’ll be a she, I promise. I think she might even be hiding within these parentheses.) Now to pull out my magic wand and banish socialus awkwardus. . .at least for the time being.
Isn’t that pink flower on an orange background just sort of invigorating?
2. The ongoing discussion yesterday, about despair/hope, about holding the furious opposites together, about paradox.
3. My parents, and their continuing dedication to engaging the hard questions, to inviting new conversation.
4. The poets. All of them, always. Today: Rilke and Rumi and Oriah Mountain Dreamer.
5. A fresh week. A clean page. A shining moment of sunshine. I can make anything of it that I choose.
May we walk in Beauty!